I Hate Smartphones

There, I said it.

When smartphones first came out, I could barely contain the excitement and anticipation of getting one.  A computer in my pocket? Are you kidding me?  This was a dream!  Sign me up and do it NOW!

I would even say that the first few years with smartphones, I was in love with this technology.  Exciting apps were announced every day that expanded our connection to others and let us share in ways we could never have dreamed.  

But all good things come to an end.  I still feel like they are necessary in today's life but I hate that fact.  I walk into a room, whether it be at home, work, doctors office, etc. and every damned person in the room is face down in their phone. They are lost  in a world that doesn't exist and is built to keep you staring into it waiting for that next dopamine hit so that you will share more and more of your information to the companies that are doing very nefarious things with your data. This could mean anything from selling it to pimple cream marketers to foreign adversaries looking to influence elections.

The thing I miss most is having family time.  We villainized  television for years and some of that criticism is deserved but there is also something to be said about having a shared experience like watching a silly, mindless 30 minute sitcom, the news or even the dastardly infomercial, together as a family.  It isn't about what you watch, it is about doing something together - sharing that moment with people you love.

Victor Borge once wrote "Laughter is the shortest distance between two people."  and I tend to believe that. Shared laughter works as a sort of social glue. At it's heart, laughter is a base emotional response.  People that suffer strokes and lose their ability to talk can still laugh and cry because it comes from a different system in the brain.  A more primal area.  A laugh is universal.  You don't have to speak the same language to recognize the laugh of another person or primate for that matter as even gorillas, chimpanzees and orangutans have the gift of laughter.  Laughing is amplified and more enjoyable, the more people you have participating in it.  We can hear a laugh track on a TV show and it inspires us to laugh even when the joke being told isn't funny.  

Back on topic, family life is fleeting.  Your kids are up and gone before you can blink an eye.  I just hate that we now have all of these little screens around the house occupying the attention once held by a shared screen, the TV. I sometimes feel like my entire family is wrapped up in their own little cocoons.

I had a volatile childhood and one of the few bright spots was sitting and watching shows with the family.  We were peaceful, smiling, laughing and sharing the same emotions over what we saw.  That could be my sister and I laughing our heads off at Three's Company or my dad and I watching old WW2 movies on Sunday morning or the entire family sitting down on Saturday night to watch The Love Boat and Fantasy Island or visiting my Maw Maw and watching a nature show with her.  It didn't matter really what was on the TV it was that we were all doing it together and I guess that is what I miss with the dynamic of raising my own family in a small screen world.  

We cut cable years ago because we felt like the TV was always on and that just wasn't healthy. My wife even reaffirmed her commitment to that recently when I suggested putting a TV in the living room so that we could all watch something together from time to time. But really, is it better to all be staring at our own screens? It is lonely to me and I think it teaches our kids to be self-centered. I don't know, maybe I am wrong or maybe it is just a fond moment for me from a childhood that didn't have many but I sure do miss it.